How to Choose Family Values With Your Kids: A Simple Christian Family Meeting That Actually Works

Choosing family values with your kids works best as one short, structured family meeting: read a list of values out loud together, let everyone — kids included — vote for the ones that sound like your family, talk them through, and narrow 48 possibilities down to the 3–5 core values your family will actually live by, grounded in Scripture.

How do you choose family values with your kids, step by step?

You run one 30–45 minute meeting at the kitchen table, and every step is timed so it never drags:

1. Open with prayer (3 minutes). Thank God for your family and ask Him to guide your choices. Read Joshua 24:15 aloud — a family choosing together is an old, good pattern.

2. Read the values list out loud (8 minutes). Take turns reading all 48 values and their one-line definitions. No debating yet — just listen for the words that make someone say, “That one sounds like us.”

3. Talk it through (10 minutes). Draw 3–4 discussion cards. Parents answer honestly first; kids follow. There are no wrong answers in this step.

4. Star your favorites (5 minutes). Each person stars up to 10 values. Count the stars together — the family favorites move on.

5. Narrow kindly (8 minutes). Of each value ask: “Is this who we are on our hardest days, or who we wish we were?” Aim for honest over impressive, and land on 3–5 core values.

6. Say what it looks like (6 minutes). Pick your first value and write what it means at home — “At home this means we…” You can finish the rest during the week, one value per evening.

7. Sign and celebrate (5 minutes). Fill in and sign your Family Values Statement, hang the poster, and mark Day 1 of living it out. End with something fun — you just did important work together.

If two values feel tied, keep both for a week and watch which one your family actually lives. Still torn? Choose the one your children can explain in their own words.

What values are on the list to choose from?

The discovery list has 48 values, each with a plain-language definition a child can understand. It starts with Faith (“Trusting God and believing His promises, even when we cannot see what is next”), Love, Kindness, Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Gratitude, Patience, Generosity, Courage, Respect, and Humility — and continues through Forgiveness, Joy, Peace, Self-Control, Perseverance, Compassion, Service, Obedience, Loyalty, Hospitality, Gentleness, and Faithfulness, all the way to 48.

Every person votes the same way: one filled-in star for each person who picks a value. The values with the most stars are the ones your whole family already recognizes as “us” — which is exactly why the kids' votes matter as much as the parents'.

What does the Bible say about choosing family values?

The kit this meeting comes from stands on a handful of passages, read aloud as you begin. The anchor is Joshua's declaration: “And if it seems evil to you to be the servants of the Lord, make the decision this day whose servants you will be: of the gods whose servants your fathers were across the River, or of the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living: but I and my house will be the servants of the Lord.” — Joshua 24:15 (BBE)

And the rule that covers every value on the list: “Let all that you do be done in love.” — 1 Corinthians 16:14 (WEB)

When your family lands on its final values, you look up one verse for each and write the reference on that value's page — Faith & Worship with Joshua 24:15, Love & Kindness with Colossians 3:12–14, Fairness & Mercy with Micah 6:8, Teaching & Togetherness with Deuteronomy 6:5–7. (Verses are quoted from the World English Bible and the Bible in Basic English, both public domain; where the WEB text uses God's personal name, the passage is quoted from the BBE instead — quotes are never altered by hand.)

What ages can join a family values meeting?

Every age at the table. Younger children join best for the discovery list, the kids' discussion cards (there are sets for ages 5–9 and 10+), and the signing. If little ones fade partway through, let them draw on a Cozy activity page at the same table — they are still part of the decision. Older kids and teenagers get the full process: voting, narrowing, and writing what each value looks like at home.

Can I try the first page free?

Yes — page 1 of the Values Discovery List (the first 12 values, with the star-vote system) is the free sample page from this kit. Read it around the table tonight and see which words your family stars first. If you want the whole meeting — all 48 values, the Scripture foundations, discussion cards for both age groups, the narrowing worksheets, the statement to sign, the poster, and a 30-day challenge for living your values out — the full kit is in the Cozy Collie Etsy shop, at the shop link on this page.

From Brittany: “The family values have helped our family immensely. When faced with any kind of conflict we look to our poster (which is in our kitchen) and ask how we would solve it within our values. It's really helped to keep us on track!”

Coming next on the blog: 40 Family Journaling Prompts That Get Parents, Kids & Teenagers Actually Talking — and if you missed it, the Christmas Bible Verse Coloring Pages for Kids post has a free Luke 2:7 page for the holidays.

FAQ

How long does it take to choose family values with your kids?

One meeting of about 30–45 minutes for the choosing. Defining what each value looks like at home can spread across the following evenings, one value at a time, and a 30-day challenge helps the values become habits.

How many core values should a family choose?

Three to five. Fewer than three misses too much of who you are; more than five and nobody — especially the kids — can remember or live them all. Narrow from a Top 10, to a Top 5, to your final 3–5.

What if my kids pick “silly” values?

Take every vote seriously in the room — a value a child can explain in their own words is worth more than an impressive one they can't. The narrowing step (“Is this who we are on our hardest days?”) sorts the list kindly, without anyone's pick being mocked.

Do we need to be a homeschool family to use this?

No. The meeting was designed for any Christian family at any table — it works on a weeknight or a Sunday afternoon, with no prep, no curriculum, and nothing needed beyond the printed kit, a pen per person, and a snack.

Is the Family Values Kit printable at home?

Yes. It's a 31-page Letter-size (8.5×11") PDF — clean guided pages for parents plus Cozy-led pages for kids — that you download once and print at home, as many copies as your own family needs.

Who makes the Family Values Kit?

Cozy Collie is created by Brittany, a homeschool mom of three in Iowa. Her rough collie Cozy appears on the kids' pages, and you can find the shop as @cozycollieshop on Etsy, Pinterest, and Facebook.